Last time I posted I expressed my desire to slow my life down this year. I talked about the importance of savoring every moment – the everyday moments we often ignore, view as tedious, or take for granted. For the past few months I have been reading, researching, and reflecting, trying to find the key to slowing down. I have made an effort to plan less and allow life to happen more. I have found myself staring at my children as they do an activity or relay a story, letting those simple actions burn into my memory – what they said, how they sound, the emotion that passes over their features. I have found seemingly quite moments to lay my head in my husband lap as he is reading or watching TV and allowed myself to feel the simplicity of the moment.
In these past months, I can’t say I haven’t read some good articles or found some fascinating websites and blogs. I also can’t say I haven’t felt instances of peace and joy and complete happiness. However, I find myself wondering more often than not if my active pursuit of stillness isn’t in some ways defying the purpose of the whole exercise. Now instead of constantly thinking of ways to stay busy and be active, I am constantly searching for ways to be happy in my inactivity. Consequently, I still often feel harried and pressured and anxious. Am I taking advantage of this moment to the fullest? Am I really looking and listening to what is happening right now? Have I turned my mind off enough so as to savor this moment? Have I extracted the most I can out of this day…this hour… this minute?
The hardest part about slowing down your life and taking more time to enjoy the everyday is that the world keeps moving at a brisk pace around you no matter your best intentions. To balance the need for doing with the desire for not doing is more difficult than simply allowing the fast pace of life to drag you along. My husband would say that balance is the key – that it is both impossible and necessary to do nothing. That real contentment comes when we learn to accept the things we have no control over and take joy in the simple pleasures of life. I agree, but how do I achieve balance?
The answer has come to me recently from the lips of my 7 year old daughter. On Valentine’s Day the kids were home from school so I stayed home with them. Since I was home, I decided to make a Valentine’s Day dinner. As I cooked pasta and baked cupcakes, Isabella cut out hearts for a heart garland and heart mobiles to decorate our dining room. My son, Julian, chipped in by helping with household chores. When Luis came home we had a great dinner and I passed out small Valentine gifts. We all wore heart crowns and ate cupcakes for dessert. It was a terrific evening. Later that night, as I was snuggling with Isabella in bed, she turned to me a said, “Today was the best day of my life.” I chuckled and thought how sweet. I didn’t think about her statement again until several days later. It was her birthday and we had spent months planning a Red Carpet Hollywood theme party for a few of her school friends. The girls had a blast and we had fun making it all happen for them. That night Isabella once again told me, “Mommy, today was the best birthday of my life.” I smiled and brushed off the comment again thinking to myself, “Yeah…until your next birthday.”
This past Tuesday Isabella stayed home with dad. She had caught a cold over the long weekend and Luis wanted to take her to the doctor and give her an extra day to rest at home. When I got home from work dinner was ready and they were playing The Game of Life. She seemed to have enjoyed her time home with dad. At bedtime I asked her if she had a fun day with her daddy. She answered, “Well, we didn’t really do anything. He shopped for groceries and he cooked and I played in my room and we played Life. It was the best day of my life!” And that’s when it hit me. This was the best day of her life because it was the present. Isabella doesn’t dwell on yesterday or live for tomorrow. Every day is the best day of her life because she is living it! At this stage in her life she lives in perfect balance. There are good things that happen in her day and maybe sometimes bad things. She sometimes has active days, and sometimes more boring days. However, none of that is important because at the end of the day she has had the best day. No matter what she has done that day, the important thing is that she did it!
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